Fighting the Nafs: A Reflection on Discipline
I have been toying with an idea over these past couple of days. As I’m reaching towards my mid-20s, I am thinking about who I want to be before I become a husband. Before I become a dad. It’s funny — I always think about who I want to be and not who I am now.
I’d like to think I am aware enough that I recognise when I am not in a good space and when I am stuck in a rut. And recently, I was stuck in a horrible rut. For weeks I would waste time with bad habits and things that would only distance my closeness to Allah ﷻ. And every day I’d put on a mental note saying, “This needs to stop.” But I didn’t stop. I kept wasting my time. And weeks later I am back to day one.
To be the person I want to be I must show up every day regardless of how I am feeling. Just like salah — as it is made obligatory on us. This is when I discovered that motivation is fleeting. It’s merely excitement that fizzles out, and has never worked to give me results.
So what is the force that can build a person? How have people like our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, and other historical figures, built their lives? By fighting our nafs, we develop discipline.
First, let’s understand what the nafs actually is:
Nafs in Arabic means the self, the soul or the ego — it’s the inner essence of a person, and in the Qur’an, the nafs is a force within us that inclines us towards our desires. I’ve always associated the word ‘nafs’ with desires. Things we want. Like laying in bed instead of waking for Fajr. Like eating extra calories on a calorie deficit. Like watching a movie that you know you shouldn’t be. This is where the battle of self takes place. Nafs doesn’t have to be all bad — it’s also the force that wants us to do good and be good.
Imam Al-Ghazali described the nafs as being like a wild horse — if left unchecked, it will take you where it wants; but if you tame it, it will take you where you want — and ultimately, where Allah wants.
There are three levels to Nafs:
Nafs al-Ammārah (النفس الأمارة بالسوء) • This is the base form of the nafs. • It pulls you toward sin, laziness, arrogance, lust, greed — anything that distracts you from Allah. • It loves comfort and hates accountability. • The nafs at this level is not ashamed of its sins. It justifies them.
If you find yourself in constant cycles of sin without remorse, this may be where your nafs is.
Nafs al-Lawwāmah (النفس اللوامة)
The Blaming Self / The Self-Reproaching Soul
“And I swear by the reproaching soul…” — Surah Al-Qiyāmah (75:2)
• This is a higher level. Your conscience is alive. • You sin, but you feel guilty. • You delay prayer, but it bothers you. • You waste time, but you want to return to Allah.
This is the stage of inner conflict. You’re torn between the nafs and the ruh (spirit). And that’s good. Because now you’re awake.
📍This is where discipline begins — when your soul starts holding you to account.
Nafs al-Muṭma’innah (النفس المطمئنة)
The Soul at Peace / The Tranquil Self
“O tranquil soul, return to your Lord, pleased and pleasing.” — Surah Al-Fajr (89:27–28)
• This is the highest state of the nafs. • The soul is content with Allah’s decree, consistent in obedience, and no longer pulled by base desires. • It still has a nafs, but one that has been disciplined, trained, and purified.
This is the level of the righteous — the soul that finds joy in Qur’an, in salah, in dhikr, in sabr.
Personally, I think I’ve been between the first and second level, and the third is where we should all strive towards. But it takes work. It takes consistent days of saying yes and saying no. And realising when to say yes and when to say no.
When you think about who you want to become, try to think about that person’s values. Values are translated into actions and behaviours, and to build values that last we must act. Consistently over time.
Moving from Nafs al-Ammārah to Nafs al-Lawwāmah
I’ll be honest — this is firstmost a reminder for myself and an exercise to understand how one may do so. In moments of sin, there might be a part of you that feels guilt, and sometimes there may not be. But I think one way we might move from one to the next is through a simple way: building habits.
Allah loves actions that are consistent, even if they are small.
Start by living life more intentionally: • Reading Qur’an, one ayah a day. • Define non-negotiables, like: you cannot sleep unless you pray Esha. Start bucketing your actions into two: “Allah would be pleased” or “This would upset Allah.”
You’d be surprised in how much this begins to add up.
Improvement 1% a day is much more loved than improving 100% and then going back to 0% the next. Allah is more interested in where you were yesterday and how much you’ve tried to improve today.
Let’s talk about two subjects:
A man who was born a Muslim and has prayed 5 times a day and has memorised the Qur’an at a young age can be described as a practising, pious, or even an ideal Muslim — although this life may have become routine to him.
And another man who has reverted at 23, and is struggling to give up his old life, but is trying his hardest every day to improve and has set a goal of giving up one bad habit and replacing it with a good one week by week.
Which one of these men is more beloved to Allah? He knows best. But I believe that the latter is more beloved to Allah, as this man shows willingness to change and grow for the better.
After all, intention is the key for all actions. Without intention and sincerity, actions are mere actions.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, our journey to Allah is not a race against others or a fight to be the best — it’s a battle within ourselves, and overcoming our tests. Our enemy is the nafs that encourages comfort and laziness, that puts off something important for tomorrow. But with discipline, intention, and trust in Allah’s mercy, we push ourselves to change. One day at a time.